I thought of you this day as I was sitting at my window with sighs of what wasn't
You always listened and yet you could never hear what I was trying to say
You always thought this was dream or game of pretend
And when I asked the questions with answers that could endure
You didn't answer
Then what held me, I wonder.
I questioned my Father many times.
He didn't answered, by and by.
And though I knew it was foolish.
I kept trying to understand love with a woman or with a man.
And love with God, well it's not simple.
And love for a friend; I have never tried.
Then love is a friendship when neither lies.
I think when I was comparing our lives I realized that you were wise,
but too determined to be smart and hardworking
and I was only determined to be smart
And you said hey come over here
And I said I could not possibly go there
And though this love will never end
--neither will the suffering
We were too smart to come together.
You spoke a few times of my God
as if you knew Him
but if you knew Him you would have never...
tried to bring me into your father's house alone.
...I'll remember the years with a smile
maybe at eighty with a cigarette and coffee
when youthful love has crumbled like coffee cake--
always too sweet for my taste.
And you, you'll keep your daddy warm,
your lawn mowed,
and watch your sister like your stocks.