The Worth of a Man

of my visit to see him

But I went there.
And the worse thing that you could do to me was nothing.
And now the worse thing that you can do to me is nothing.
If it were a power play,
If you were but constrained,
If you had words or deed that you would render,
It is too late
2010 was the deciding year.

And please don't frown upon me now,
Or my actions
To preserve my peace.
There are plenty of girls to pursue and cheat.
Is this all I feared?

Yesterday a day was coming when we would be together.
Tomorrow that day will never come.
I hope you understand.
Your wealth and riches lied in your smile and helping hand.
Thousands later you'll understand.

The worth of a man.

A Poem at Breakfast

Forever, never--you had both poles of my soul
Love like a guinea pig, cute at first,
but then such a chore.

Funny. This is how I'm remembering you,
After you were that inquisitive smile on my face
for so long.

People never know why I didn't need new clothes,
Starbucks, or executive pay to feel special.
Guess you too never knew, until I said
I was in love with you.

Too bad that was the day I also said goodbye;
I'll wear your memory like a yellow ribbon;
you'll wear mine like a tie.

The illusion of sophistication always made you look good;
too bad I had to be knotted up and twisted awkwardly
to realize it was for show.

Maybe 30 todays from now you'll have a new tie--no commitment-
which one looks better, which one suits my mood,
which one makes me feel more secure,
which ones do my friends like, which one thinks they're my only
girl

I thought of you

I thought of you this day as I was sitting at my window with sighs of what wasn't
You always listened and yet you could never hear what I was trying to say
You always thought this was dream or game of pretend
And when I asked the questions with answers that could endure
You didn't answer

Then what held me, I wonder.
I questioned my Father many times.
He didn't answered, by and by.

And though I knew it was foolish.
I kept trying to understand love with a woman or with a man.
And love with God, well it's not simple.
And love for a friend; I have never tried.

Then love is a friendship when neither lies.

---

I think when I was comparing our lives I realized that you were wise,
but too determined to be smart and hardworking
and I was only determined to be smart

And you said hey come over here
And I said I could not possibly go there
And though this love will never end
--neither will the suffering

We were too smart to come together.

You spoke a few times of my God
as if you knew Him
but if you knew Him you would have never...
tried to bring me into your father's house alone.

...I'll remember the years with a smile
maybe at eighty with a cigarette and coffee
when youthful love has crumbled like coffee cake--
always too sweet for my taste.

And you, you'll keep your daddy warm,
your lawn mowed,
and watch your sister like your stocks.

Love You Like a Song

The shadows in my memory are clearing
I know I loved you in times past
when freedom was the only option
why are you so closed with yourself?

Everything was like green fields in Springtime
I would walk and see beauty everywhere
I would sing your name
and the strangest things would remind me of you

Now the memories are like distant cries
or forgotten lyrics
they create an uncomfortable feeling
that makes me want to erase any memory of you at all

The song of our past is still sweet,
I remember it and smile,
but the now is like the discordant trills of a fallen bird
when you know the best option is just to kill it
rather than watch it die slowly.




vanished?