Untitled

Image via WikipediaOf the pain of being sexually abused.

See the one that was broken and crushed
over and over--
See the one that was burned beyond
recognition--
cast out like dust and scattered as
ashes.

See her in perfection
made new as a jewel
not left in her blood and shame
restored.

And they that looked upon her nakedness,
those that saw her polluted in her own blood,
and walked by on the other way,
them she is restored to save.

Blessed healing
Only heaven can touch
Windows to my soul
my dread
my red tidings cried out to Him
now I am standing in the courts of the King
I am the resurrection and the life.

Burning for Love - a song

inspired by my brother meeting his fiance
...definitely not one of the nicest things I've written, and it's incomplete, but...

tattoos up her arms piercings in her face
she's searching for the one that no one can replace--
and he says she's beautiful

what lies had led her there, homeless unaware
she's always bringing on these random love affairs
and she says she's beautiful

sex on the ledge, sex on the edge
she tells you all her partners, you should have asked her legs
and they think she's beautiful

This world's not yours
nor your body
The time's not yours
it's unwinding
and when it ends
will you be friends
or somewhere burning

burning for love, burning for love

(added this verse after I recorded it, ha!)
he looked in her eyes, he never saw the time
just took her in to see, if sex was on her mind
and he thinks she's beautiful

This world's not yours
nor your body
The time's not yours
it's unwinding
and when it ends
will you be friends
or somewhere burning

burning for love, burning for love
burning for love, burning for love,
burning for love

Add to Blog.egg on Aviary.

Sorry about the muttering. I didn't want my brother to hear me:)

Changing tide

...Yet another sad breakup poem

I am at the turning of the tide
Couldn't hold it if I tried
It all goes out together
My sustenance
And leaves me dry

Sitting on these crags
My company in the sun
Will You give me salt water to drink?
As I meet another age alone

No use, no use, chasing the tide
everything I've done
no longer hid
the change has come

a death of idolatry

you were my meditation day and night
your memory my daily food
the thought of you sustained me
that I would be with you one day was my strength

I desired you more than my necessary food
and I built to give you life more abundantly
how could I not see that your heart was far from me?
now I am altogether brought low and downcast
at your swift dismissal

a degree, a new home, a plan

castles made of sand

---

nevertheless, this endless desert is what I drew
it was my contemplation true
not you,
you are an mirage,
this desert, with thirst and heat is real.
You, I cannot touch.
this desert sears my soul.

together

i can't protect you from what may come
but i can promise i'll love you through it
it's not something you can throw or
measure
or predict
or calculate
what will happen, what will become of this...

...all i know is that my eyes have seen the glory
of the coming of the Lord.

i have scenes in my mind
everyday
of what should, could be
and with my fear
i press towards
these impossible...

why won't you press with me
with our force combined
we'll press harder
and perhaps both make it to
that day
together

The Worth of a Man

of my visit to see him

But I went there.
And the worse thing that you could do to me was nothing.
And now the worse thing that you can do to me is nothing.
If it were a power play,
If you were but constrained,
If you had words or deed that you would render,
It is too late
2010 was the deciding year.

And please don't frown upon me now,
Or my actions
To preserve my peace.
There are plenty of girls to pursue and cheat.
Is this all I feared?

Yesterday a day was coming when we would be together.
Tomorrow that day will never come.
I hope you understand.
Your wealth and riches lied in your smile and helping hand.
Thousands later you'll understand.

The worth of a man.

Knew Me

I.
There's nothing new about ignored calls
Crossed phone lines
Busy signals and missing depth

It's times like these when I wish
my emotions, I could lock up in a bottle
and throw away

What brings me here today
Checking your Facebook page
Have you found another?
And another?

If you'd said something, it'd be simple,
but your silence is like new temple
no worshipers, useless and empty


II.
It's like the light I set up
before I go to sleep because I am afraid
that someone has been peeping in my window
I want to see them, so I keep it on
they always crash outside and get away
I know they've seen me
I wonder if they knew me at some point

At least they come around sometimes
knocking
I never welcomed them into my bedroom
like I welcomed you
But you stood still
They stand still and look
The reaction is the same, in a furious
rage we plan to gun them down

Wish love wasn't so volatile
wish I could extract it
every time I felt it excreting somewhere in my brain
I would trap it
And wrap it up
And give it away
To some young lover, that knows it's use,
Yes, they would use it well.

III.

My Magnificent God of Heaven
Has not touched the hairs that are
falling from my head with new speed
now that I am again alone

My Magnificent God of Heaven
Sits in a silence I know too well
letting me feel what he felt
this hell of love without Him

My Magnificent God of Heaven
Knows the sighs, the woes, of having--
not having, be your meditation
and He waits

when love lacks

Is part of aging becoming numb
Jumping from planes for what I've come from
If you know the answer then Oh Beckon Me
Let me bathe in surrender that knows no retreat
Rightfully entreated, mastered like a track
I fled twice sideways
you brought me back

within your hold
within your touch
I'm gaining the reasons I love you so much

And I'll never drink that way again
Misshapen freedoms, a whole world of lack.

And I'm all over you
when you find me again
And I'm still knowing you
when morning's come and went

Love lost, repeated
is a spiteful friend
all the ways I love you
yeah
all the ways I love you
cannot bridge the divide
when you walk one way
and I go with Christ.

Of Christendom

the ever absent freedom to choose
the right to be wrong is what we lose

when we will seek God praying, ever
when we we will love God wholly, never

...but He loves us.

A Poem at Breakfast

Forever, never--you had both poles of my soul
Love like a guinea pig, cute at first,
but then such a chore.

Funny. This is how I'm remembering you,
After you were that inquisitive smile on my face
for so long.

People never know why I didn't need new clothes,
Starbucks, or executive pay to feel special.
Guess you too never knew, until I said
I was in love with you.

Too bad that was the day I also said goodbye;
I'll wear your memory like a yellow ribbon;
you'll wear mine like a tie.

The illusion of sophistication always made you look good;
too bad I had to be knotted up and twisted awkwardly
to realize it was for show.

Maybe 30 todays from now you'll have a new tie--no commitment-
which one looks better, which one suits my mood,
which one makes me feel more secure,
which ones do my friends like, which one thinks they're my only
girl