Saturday, August 29, 2009

Whoring After Other Gods

god's of Harvest, Fertility, and Love
to fill our lust
we instill our trust

in blues and purples
and golden paint
out of gold dust

that we drank
as we wished for
what we consumed to grow

It's a image you know
what's before your eyes
everything you touch--
everything that fades

He's winking at you from behind the clouds
the one that made your eyes
His exalted Kingdom-far from your mind
is close like time

Another thing you cannot escape
death and judgment
or pearly gates

I gave the god of CHASE eight thousand yesterday
He gave me eight days to live in waste
I gave the god of CHEVROLET eleven thousand
I still pay him everyday
The god of CITIBANK two-hundred thousand,
our lust us flowing like a fountain

when He would freely give us all good things
if we'd wait and just believe.
the god of the nearest Bali Fitness, the god of Sephora and Dior
all those plain before our eyes
won first our praise and answered our sighs


static, ecstatic that He never went away
waits for me to finish my drink at the Dead Sea
bitter waters
I drank freely

living waters,
they lead you to
the True Source;
how can I?

They make me realize that I am inadequate still
inadequate to save one or the world
but, He died to be The Way
died to quench our thirst

Can you believe
someone you cannot touch
can be everything?

Can love everyone?
Pleasantries, Cheshire smiles,
they lead you wherever you want to go--
to bad you never know

Good for me is the taste of freedom
It looks like black hair, brown eyes, and a wrist watch
Sweet words I swear I've never heard
Good for me
until I'm sick on sweetness

He held me in the bathroom as I threw up
unimaginable things
what I think I didn't eat
He was always there beside me

Struck down death
the antiserum for my poison
And black waters stink
but once you drink long enough...


unwilling to move to where He's calling
you almost think they're sweet

Could there be better for me?
It will turn you over like yesterday
This realization that you drank bitter waters
freely for four years...

...and He never stopped calling you home.

Falling Petals

They were beauty
so fragile
the fragrance for a moment you cannot imagine
you cannot hold
which I passed by on this night
filled me with marvelous life

something He knew
flowers are beauty
for moments
too soon passed

nurture them
they still fall
each falling petal
is Your falling hopes
that beauty be everlasting

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Won't Back Down

And finally it's cost me everything to say that He is my Lord and my God
It's not what I thought I would have to pay
It never is
Remember that; it will always cost more than you think:
I said it's beautiful and I have a plan for how it could be,
but generous,
my Father waited to give me something better
then I finally let go--
How to embrace eternity
some knew it meant forgetting your life
That's what He said, He said lose this life to gain it.

Today I feel like a soldier,
more lost friends than I can count,
tomorrow I'll be a princess near His throne
gathered round with the worshipers
that gave it all.

Luke warm in the fire
luke warm--and thinking I'm fine
And in the valley of decision
I didn't fall...amazing He holds me still.

He loves me.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


Immeasurable the weight of a life
a coming birth
and you were known
and you are known

and you were formed
and you are being formed

will you pretend that you stand alone
a beautiful happenstance
a perfect chance

these blue mountains
this white washed earth
every little paradise in your eyes

can they be
without Him?


I know he put the title in for the movie before the show
It's a long story that was written by lapses in belief
A swimmingly simple path is the one that denies the eyes
an opinion. So there are none.

A response to Child by Nidji

The Fullness of God

We'll all need to make this apology to ourselves
and to our Father at least one time in our lifetime
at second birth or at death
for being less than we should be
and knowing all the beauty of the Almighty was there
for giving precious time to meaningless endeavors
and for holding love back from the ones that needed it the most

We have to apologize to ourselves because we have come up short
and cheated ourselves of the fullness of God
and we will apologize to Him because His beauty strikes terror in our hearts

But every moment is lacking a frame
We make these invisible frames
when time cannot be measured
the illusion of an age, a memory ended, the past forgotten
It is One.

If we remember the fluidity of the ocean
and how nothing is created or destroyed
how can we then think the past is gone
this is how He is and how He speaks
and the old Word the new
remember this

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I thought of you

I thought of you this day as I was sitting at my window with sighs of what wasn't
You always listened and yet you could never hear what I was trying to say
You always thought this was dream or game of pretend
And when I asked the questions with answers that could endure
You didn't answer

Then what held me, I wonder.
I questioned my Father many times.
He didn't answered, by and by.

And though I knew it was foolish.
I kept trying to understand love with a woman or with a man.
And love with God, well it's not simple.
And love for a friend; I have never tried.

Then love is a friendship when neither lies.


I think when I was comparing our lives I realized that you were wise,
but too determined to be smart and hardworking
and I was only determined to be smart

And you said hey come over here
And I said I could not possibly go there
And though this love will never end
--neither will the suffering

We were too smart to come together.

You spoke a few times of my God
as if you knew Him
but if you knew Him you would have never...
tried to bring me into your father's house alone.

...I'll remember the years with a smile
maybe at eighty with a cigarette and coffee
when youthful love has crumbled like coffee cake--
always too sweet for my taste.

And you, you'll keep your daddy warm,
your lawn mowed,
and watch your sister like your stocks.

You Can't Win This One

Let's suppose your lover were on a stream floating away with another.
And let's suppose he thought you never saw him through the morning mists.
And let's suppose you were willing to take the risk of being noticed.

Hello how are you,
Who Is This?
Oh a friend from work, how nice you missed today.

And let's suppose you hid your jealousy underneath and tried to be kind that week.
Let's suppose you didn't say a word as the questions corroded your soul.
Let's suppose you ignored all the signs that you were not the only one,

to Have and Hold your dearest friend.

No. You sat on the bank that day, after they had sailed away.
You contemplated a secret kill; just like every lover will.
And after crying your eyes out 'til you turned pale.
You passed through the gardens of your ill will,
and thought of how to win him back,

But, with the present wounds you know, you cannot turn a old stream's flow.

the window that went

I guess there was a small window in which I was entertaining this idea of wretchedness
like she did
with her pretty prayers and daily study and still no testimony near holy

and me, harsh words, abrasive even to those I love for no reason
though I would give my spleen to a stranger

but which way is better?

how many are touched by her show of piety
how many will see in my deeds God Almighty

and so I am burning up under my calm expression--
as she shares all she shouldn't have learned from life's lessons
and then I quietly think though all the others that have no show of the Change
as she quietly says her evening prayers.