I guess there was a small window in which I was entertaining this idea of wretchedness
like she did
with her pretty prayers and daily study and still no testimony near holy
and me, harsh words, abrasive even to those I love for no reason
though I would give my spleen to a stranger
but which way is better?
how many are touched by her show of piety
how many will see in my deeds God Almighty
and so I am burning up under my calm expression--
as she shares all she shouldn't have learned from life's lessons
and then I quietly think though all the others that have no show of the Change
as she quietly says her evening prayers.