Two Feet In Front of Me

My whole life was two feet in front of me
where I would decide to go
what I would decide to do
and who I would decide to listen to
from now--on

It's on, and I cannot focus on what I need to do
These pixels are perfect
Not a reflection of the users at all
Two feet in front of me lies my life

In a basement, undisclosed
Closed off rather
"Do Not Disturb"
I'm trying to make something out of nothing,
or pixels, same thing right?

Two feet in front of me.

Don't have time to listen to your problems.
I'm trying to fix my own. I'm sure Google knows...
how to fix a life,
half-lived
I've only moved two feet towards what I can give

The rest is lost in memories, digital photos of the places
I've gone
The people
I've met
The past, but what of the becoming--
isolated?

Two feet in front of me,
what a wonderful gift
to go
to an online chatroom and find neighbors across the world
can't stand the ones across the street
right?
The ones through the lines have an airbrushed illusion of me
that they admire

I thought I'd love it. I hate it.
I've only shared my good, but I expect them to know my failure.
Are we done pretending?

So I'm taking my two feet, stuffed neatly beneath my desk, and I'm sitting here until I complete--
what I started. An accurate depiction of disconnect.

Response to Jim Rohn's talk "Turning Nothing Into Something"

Tired in the Morning

I was eating all day because something was eating me when I woke up this morning.
Although everyone in my family was proud of themselves, all of us needed to look in the mirror.
For the last five years my father has purchased things he cannot afford to impress people.
For the last five years my mother has labored unhappily at the same job.
For the last five years my brother has resigned himself to a life of sex, drugs, and video games.
And for the last five years I have traveled the world at my parents expense.

This morning I was tired of it and had bitten into change. How long must one tear at the dusty circumstances for them to cease? I thought I had changed two months ago. I thought I had a new beginning a week ago, then I realized that I was just guilty by association. And that is what I would always be, one step closer, as long as I was dying to connect.