Thoughts, Not Poetry

Can you accept that God's not through with me yet?
It's not, you're saved and then abracadabra you're God-like
These are the many things about me that I cannot believe
I want to tell you the truth, but abracadabra I lied.
I want to be there for friends, but abracadabra I hide.
I want to do well in school, but abracadabra I procrastinate.
I want to love everyone, but abracadabra I hate

everyone that gets in my way, and takes my energy from my goals.
What have I learned from Love?
Be patient.

Be patient with the insincere liars, that aren't there for you when you need them, that are lazy with their work, and blame and hate you for it.

Be patient. I'm a work in progress. I will not pretend to be perfect,
and I do not expect you to be.

If everyone could just hold everyone to this standard - to forgive those that fall time and time again, just like you. There is heaven. There is a kingdom worth living in.

But, here are my false starts. Any suggestions on how not to be human?
I'm listening.

Two Feet In Front of Me

My whole life was two feet in front of me
where I would decide to go
what I would decide to do
and who I would decide to listen to
from now--on

It's on, and I cannot focus on what I need to do
These pixels are perfect
Not a reflection of the users at all
Two feet in front of me lies my life

In a basement, undisclosed
Closed off rather
"Do Not Disturb"
I'm trying to make something out of nothing,
or pixels, same thing right?

Two feet in front of me.

Don't have time to listen to your problems.
I'm trying to fix my own. I'm sure Google knows...
how to fix a life,
half-lived
I've only moved two feet towards what I can give

The rest is lost in memories, digital photos of the places
I've gone
The people
I've met
The past, but what of the becoming--
isolated?

Two feet in front of me,
what a wonderful gift
to go
to an online chatroom and find neighbors across the world
can't stand the ones across the street
right?
The ones through the lines have an airbrushed illusion of me
that they admire

I thought I'd love it. I hate it.
I've only shared my good, but I expect them to know my failure.
Are we done pretending?

So I'm taking my two feet, stuffed neatly beneath my desk, and I'm sitting here until I complete--
what I started. An accurate depiction of disconnect.

Response to Jim Rohn's talk "Turning Nothing Into Something"

Being

you were being love
before you opened your eyes for the first time
before you sang
before you put on flesh

you had being
and a mind
and were all in Truth

you were being love
without a thought or try
and you had in you all that you could imagine

and then you were born
...and died.

--

you saw others unlike you and questioned why you were not the same
you searched the world for your likeness but there were none only strangeness
you cast off your uniqueness because you were looking for Love

and He, in His love had let you go
to love everything and everyone that He had made...for you
you're still looking for Him
and others too with that pang visible in their eyes
what was created while longing for Love?
a whole earth of unlikeness!

--

And then one day you heard Him say, "I AM here."
And you thought it was your mind,
but there was something inside you that moved
that hadn't moved before
and you wondered

8 years later, 2 years from a decade of living lies
He spoke again, "Who you are is a lie."
And there was so much you were trying to create.
He said, "Who you are changes."
"The Truth does not change."

And then your thoughts about this flesh that you had put on
and these clothes, and this car, more education
it would pass, it was passing, and the flesh in constant decay.
You would see Him one day, you would see You one day.
And in that day you would be in complete being.