Feelings that come and go

IHOP.ORG Live Stream @1:00PM-2:00PM CST Tim Reimherr 

Look I fled from your grace, because I wanted perfection.
The perfection to come in the latter days,
or rather when You become Dayspring.

But, in hours I turned again.
And I don't know why.
It's better here.
I think.
I believe.

Everything is wearying but sitting with You.
Everything takes,
but You give.

I don't want to live in the "one day."

Guess that's where I am. It pulls me. It tears me. My unfaithful heart.
My selfishness. My demands.
Perfect one! My soul groans for Your Perfection!

What will I share with them?
Better days to come?
My brother said that wasn't worth living for, not better tomorrows.
I told him enjoy Your love and guidance today.
And every day I struggle to find it, to be there....sometimes
it seems too long,
our translation into light.

However, not only creation groans. We, who have the Spirit as the first of God's gifts, also groan inwardly. We groan as we eagerly wait for our adoption, the freeing of our bodies [from sin]. (Romans 8:23; GOD'S WORD Translation)

Thoughts, Not Poetry

Can you accept that God's not through with me yet?
It's not, you're saved and then abracadabra you're God-like
These are the many things about me that I cannot believe
I want to tell you the truth, but abracadabra I lied.
I want to be there for friends, but abracadabra I hide.
I want to do well in school, but abracadabra I procrastinate.
I want to love everyone, but abracadabra I hate

everyone that gets in my way, and takes my energy from my goals.
What have I learned from Love?
Be patient.

Be patient with the insincere liars, that aren't there for you when you need them, that are lazy with their work, and blame and hate you for it.

Be patient. I'm a work in progress. I will not pretend to be perfect,
and I do not expect you to be.

If everyone could just hold everyone to this standard - to forgive those that fall time and time again, just like you. There is heaven. There is a kingdom worth living in.

But, here are my false starts. Any suggestions on how not to be human?
I'm listening.

Two Feet In Front of Me

My whole life was two feet in front of me
where I would decide to go
what I would decide to do
and who I would decide to listen to
from now--on

It's on, and I cannot focus on what I need to do
These pixels are perfect
Not a reflection of the users at all
Two feet in front of me lies my life

In a basement, undisclosed
Closed off rather
"Do Not Disturb"
I'm trying to make something out of nothing,
or pixels, same thing right?

Two feet in front of me.

Don't have time to listen to your problems.
I'm trying to fix my own. I'm sure Google knows...
how to fix a life,
half-lived
I've only moved two feet towards what I can give

The rest is lost in memories, digital photos of the places
I've gone
The people
I've met
The past, but what of the becoming--
isolated?

Two feet in front of me,
what a wonderful gift
to go
to an online chatroom and find neighbors across the world
can't stand the ones across the street
right?
The ones through the lines have an airbrushed illusion of me
that they admire

I thought I'd love it. I hate it.
I've only shared my good, but I expect them to know my failure.
Are we done pretending?

So I'm taking my two feet, stuffed neatly beneath my desk, and I'm sitting here until I complete--
what I started. An accurate depiction of disconnect.

Response to Jim Rohn's talk "Turning Nothing Into Something"

Just When You Loosed Me

Do you want to climb the barrier?
Would you like to knock it down?
Or do you want to stand strong with a thousand others against it?
Pushing with the strength of a thousand souls against the crest of the wave that keeps
one oppressed.

You did not know
they had you locked up in your mind.
With fear
With doubting
You did not know they designed the mistrust,
a christening into the hopelessness.

Sometimes in the sacred year of childhood you hear Him whispering--
you're free.
And as you grow your only challenge is to believe.
Far from everything else, and how it seems...this truth remains.
Just when He looses you and you're walking on water,
the fear seizes you.

Is this humanity?
is fear what separates us from God?
There is no fear in Love.
Perfect love casts out fear.