ready to serve

midway between finding myself and finding You
thank God I found You instead
You showed me
me in a different light

now I think I can do better
now I think I can be better
at least to them if not me
but Your love for me will continue
to transform

everything I'm coming from
even when I'm worn
finally, finally,
no need for alarm

I'm safe in Your arms
and I believe it.


everything it cost.
the more I built myself,
the more I went looking for fame, wealth,
everything else.
the more I lost You,
the more I didn't care
the more people seemed like images of the Divine
creeping into your life
to steal your mind.

I'm no longer made to serve.
I serve now willingly.
Only hoping to find that You forgive my inability
to trust You.


I'm writing this for you.
I'll try to make this plain.
When you're secure enough to trust in what you have,
then you've forgotten the Source of it all.

Psalms 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Recap

So I haven't posted a poem here in a while because I've been monitoring the type of content that I post here. I've been writing other poems though that do not match the theme of this blog. Today I'll give it another go because the poems here are all responses to something...mostly music.

"the desire for beauty, which is the image of the divine." -Ficino

Seeing you is not the movement I was listening to last night
I was listening to a song without sound and pictures
staring at the screen knowing this madness of wanting was
again ensuing.

Not seeing you was the movement I was listening to
and so tears and tears came
I was shaken as I realized it was ending
how cruel it always ends when we've made a connection

--

Yesterday as I sat by myself I wondered if this was hell.
Separation from Love
Knowing faces that look like Him
faces that talk like Him
those faces that grin when they abuse you.

And I cried because faith believes differently.
My chaste Christianity came crashing down!

What if this was hell?

What if we were really the fallen?
with a book that told the story of our demise...
rewritten
so the truth doesn't eat at us like a plague.
So we don't jump off of the nearest path to peace.

--

Many seasons come and go, and go, and go, and go,
The world is really crooked.
Why would God come and not tilt it back again.
He calmed His seas.
He cursed his lands.

And he's coming back with a sword to conquer it again?
--

Many things tonight are rushing through my head
Mainly the cold
how life is in the blood
and as I sit on this cold rock, smell of the pine, longing for your body,
I wonder why the Creator formed us to long.

Can creation - procreation happen without love?
Would we die without love?
And what if we were created without these silly emotions
more real than the things that we can see
these silent...invisible things...that create everything.